His Woman, His Wife, His Widow Page 14

  It seemed like I was falling asleep at the weirdest times lately and I didn’t know why. I only hung out on the weekends—still not going to church like I should. During the week, I stayed home studying. I would sometimes fall asleep for the longest before I finally got up to go to bed.

  Whatever it was that had me taking extra trips to la-la land, I needed to get a handle on quickly. The last thing I needed was to fail because I was unable to concentrate properly on my studies.

  “Class, don’t forget we are having an exam during our next session that will count for thirty-three percent of your grade. This will be the last test before the final exam. Class dismissed.”

  When I started taking classes at Wayne County Community College two semesters ago, my mama was a little disappointed. She’d always wanted me to go to a big university. She was especially hard on me when Shyanne left for Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, and I had not even applied to any in-state or out-of-state schools.

  “What has gotten into you, Lindsay Renee Westbrook?” my mother had scolded. “You don’t attend church anymore. You’re no longer interested in your education. What is wrong with you? Don’t even bother answering because I know exactly what your problem is. It’s Mr. Rock-head. He probably won’t allow you to go away to school. I see he has made you quit your job,” she said. “I can even understand you not leaving the state to go to college because you didn’t want to leave him, but you could have at least applied to Wayne State right here in the city.”

  In actuality, Shaun had very little to do with me ending up in community college. He would have preferred if I had gone to a larger university. It was all my fault. I forgot to get my application in by the assigned deadline. I had so much on my mind during my senior year of high school. I was estranged from my mother, I was living with a woman who hated me, and the time between Shaun and me had been dramatically cut. I was doing good to even get through high school during that time. Wayne State was the only application I had, and I let it totally slip my mind because of the stress I was under.

  It was Shaun’s idea for me to quit my job back then, however. He didn’t see the point in me having to work in the evenings when he was more than able to take care of us. Shaun wanted me to get myself in school and concentrate on my classes. I was to let him worry about the money. He even pays my tuition.

  Financially, things couldn’t have been better for me. I was living in my own fully furnished townhouse, I was driving a brand new Honda Accord, which I got after trading in the Thunderbird, and I had a closet full of clothes. Shaun made good on his promise to purchase me a mink jacket for my nineteenth birthday, and he even stepped it up by buying me a full length mink coat for Christmas that same year.

  Socially, things were cool too. Even though Mama was not too happy about my school or living situation, she, Granny and I were as close as ever.

  Shyanne stayed on campus at Oakland, but she came home every weekend. I missed her tremendously during the week, but we had a ball when she was at home. We would shop up a storm during the day, my treat most of the time, and we would party like crazy every Friday and Saturday night. Even though we would not be twenty-one for a year and a half, we never had a problem getting into the clubs. All it took was a little something extra for the security guards checking the identification, and we were in like Flynn.

  Spiritually, I was lukewarm. Mama would occasionally chastise me about partying so often on the weekends, but not having time for church on Sundays. I would listen to her, feel bad for a while, and then justify my absence from Sunday service by rationalizing that I was still attending the adult Bible Study class every Tuesday. I always promised Mama, myself, and God that I would start showing up on Sundays eventually. The Kennedys were not too happy about Shyanne’s party habits either, but they didn’t give her too much flack because she always made time for church on Sunday mornings.

  Personally, things were just not right. I mean, I still loved Shaun with all my heart, and I know he still loved me. He was as generous as always with his family and with me. However, I started to feel like Shaun thought the material possessions were interchangeable with his time. If it were not somebody’s birthday, Christmas, or our anniversary, which we celebrated on the date of our first date, we never spent any quality time together.

  Shaun rarely made it home before 3:00 A.M., and he never got out of bed before 1:00 P.M. When he did get up, he would shower, dress and head straight to Patricia’s to spend the early part of the day with Sha’Ron. Since Rhonda was adamant about her son not being allowed anywhere near me, I only got to see him on Christmas and Shaun’s birthday. Those were the only two occasions I would visit his mother’s house. On Thursdays, Tameeka and I had a class together, so I would drop her off at home after school, but I never went inside the house.

  Shaun would stay at Patricia’s house until 4:00 or 5:00 P.M., and then he would head out to handle his business. I’m sure he spent some time hanging out with his friends while he claimed to be working, but I never doubted that he was faithful to our relationship. Shaun knew how much he meant to me and how much I sacrificed to be with him. I couldn’t imagine him ever doing anything like that to hurt me.

  Shyanne thought I was crazy. She and I argued constantly about how naïve she thought I was. She broke up with Antonio about eight months ago because she busted him cheating. Now her attitude toward men and relationships was worse than ever. It didn’t stop her from dating though. She was now involved with Shaun’s friend James, a.k.a. Jamo.

  Since Mr. Waters’ class was the only one I had today, I decided to go by Granny’s house and take her to lunch. Mondays and Wednesdays I only had one class; two on Thursdays. Tuesday was my homework and Bible Study day, and Sundays I caught up on my school related reading. Like I said before, Fridays and Saturdays are reserved for hanging and shopping with Shyanne.

  The moment I pulled in front of Granny’s house, my stomach did a triple somersault. I found myself suddenly ill, making a mad dash through Granny’s house straight to the bathroom. I slammed the bathroom door, barely making it to the toilet before I starting puking my guts out.

  Granny was immediately at the door trying to make sure I was okay. “Nay-Nay, girl, are you all right in there?”

  “I don’t know, Granny. I’ll be out in a minute.” I hovered over the toilet bowl trying to make sure I had nothing left on my stomach before emerging from the bathroom.

  When I opened the door, Granny was all over me, feeling my forehead checking for a fever. “How long have you been sick?”

  “I wasn’t sick, Granny, until I got to your house. Then I suddenly felt nauseous.” Granny gave me a strange look, forcing me to wonder if she knew about some bug or virus going around.

  “Chile, when was the last time you had a period?”

  Oh my goodness! My granny thought I was pregnant. I couldn’t possibly be pregnant. I had been taking the pill for years. I never missed one pill ... Oh no! I forgot about the time I lost my purse.

  Shyanne and I were out clubbing when my purse came up missing. My birth control prescription for the remainder of the month was in it. When I called the pharmacy, they told me I couldn’t get a replacement for the lost pills. The pharmacist suggested I use another form of contraceptive. Her advice came in one ear, parked on my brain for about ten minutes, and then went out the other ear. I didn’t have enough sense to think of using anything else. That was about eight weeks ago.

  “I can’t remember the last time I had a period, Granny. Ever since I’ve been on the pill, my periods have been so irregular; they just kind of show up from time to time. But I can’t be pregnant can I, Granny? I’ve only missed a couple of pills.” Granny’s look of skepticism made me sick all over again.

  When I came from the bathroom this time, my grandmother had her jacket on and her purse in her hand. “Come on, baby, we are going to the clinic right now to see if the rabbit dies ...”

  Six weeks pregnant! Those words sounded no less strange when
I said them to myself than when the nurse at the clinic said them to me. It had been two hours since I heard them the first time, and I still could not believe it. What in the world was I supposed to do now?

  The nurse explained that since my pregnancy was still in the early stages, I had a few weeks to consider whether or not I wanted to terminate it. I wished she hadn’t said that in front of Granny. All the way through lunch I had to hear her moral lecture against abortion.

  “Nay-Nay, I know you’re still young and unmarried, but neither of those is a good enough reason to have an abortion. We are Christians, and despite your circumstances, including the fact Shaun already has one son, that baby is a blessing from God. The sin was in you deciding to have premarital sex, not the conception of your child. Please don’t decide to commit another sin by aborting your baby.” And on and on she went.

  Before I made any decisions, I needed to talk to Shaun. Since this was not something I felt should wait until the wee hours of the morning when he usually crept in, I was on my way to try and catch him at Patricia’s house. According to his normal schedule, he should still be there kicking it with Sha’Ron around this time of day. Hopefully they were hanging around the house and not out somewhere together.

  I was glad to see his car parked in the driveway when I pulled in front of the house. Shaun was now driving a 1993 candy apple red convertible Corvette. Even though I hated coming to Patricia’s house, I was really anxious to have this discussion and find out how Shaun felt about the prospect of having a second child.

  I stepped onto the porch, but before I had a chance to knock, the front door flew open. Patricia stood on the other side of the threshold and gave me her usual greeting of plain old silence. However, this time I got the eerie feeling she was a little more agitated than normal by my presence at her home. She kept the front door pulled close to her, indicating that she had no intention of inviting me in for tea. I had to be the mature one as usual when dealing with this hateful woman.

  “Hello, Patricia. Is Shaun here?” I tried not to sound as irritated as I felt for just having to talk to her.

  “Well, you know he’s here because his car is here!” Dang! Must this woman always be a witch?

  Before I had a chance to ask her to get him, Shaun appeared at the front door. I actually heard him speaking before I saw him. “Who you talking to out here, Mama?” he said, and then opened the door to see for himself.

  Shaun had on his jacket as if he were getting ready to leave. I felt blessed to have gotten there just in time. But feelings of joy were quickly overshadowed by feelings of panic when I saw a very pretty girl standing behind him with her jacket on as well.

  The young lady was tall and slim, yet still very shapely. The honey caramel complexion of her skin was beautiful. She had long, jet black hair and jet black eyes, something I had rarely seen. Perhaps she was not solely black, but of biracial heritage. Maybe part Asian.

  I could have sworn, when I refocused my attention on Shaun, that he looked guilty for a split second. But he recovered quickly and started to question me. “What are you doing here, Lindsay?”

  “Hello to you too, Shaun. Who’s your friend?”

  “Is everything okay? You don’t usually show up at my mom’s house like this unannounced,” he asked, completely ignoring my question. Patricia stood in the doorway watching our verbal exchange like a tennis match.

  “Who ... ? Is ... ? Your ... ? Friend ... ?” I repeated each word very slowly, very clearly and a little loudly to make sure he heard me this time. However, it was little Ms. Runway Model who spoke first.

  “Shaun, I’ll take the bus home. I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Pat.”

  She left the house, slightly bumping me as she descended the steps heading toward Joy Road on her way to the bus stop, I assumed. She never once looked back because I stared at her until she was at least two houses away.

  Patricia smiled as she left; speaking the only nice words I have ever heard uttered from her lips. “Bye, Keva. You be careful at that bus stop, baby.” I guess all of her rudeness is reserved for me. As soon as I turned around, Patricia gave me one last eye-roll then walked away from the door.

  “So what’s up, Lindsay? Why the sudden visit?” I couldn’t believe this fool was playing stupid on me. I was about two seconds from slugging my man for the very first time.

  “Shaun, who is Keva, and why was she in your mama’s house with you? Don’t give me any more of your runaround crap either.”

  “Runaround? What are you talking about? Look, let me say good-bye to Sha’Ron. Then we can get something to eat and talk about whatever it is that caused this attitude you seem to have.”

  He turned and walked away before I had a chance to say another word. He reappeared about ten minutes later, leaving me standing on the porch the whole time. I’m sure he was using the time to compose a good lie about Keva. It didn’t take that long to tell a four-year-old good-bye.

  “All right. Let’s go. We’ll take your car since it’s already warm, but I’ll drive. You drive like a bat out of hell.”

  As soon as we were settled in the car and on our way, I started again with the questions. “Shaun, why are you stalling on answering my question? I’ve asked you at least three times who Keva is and not once have you bothered to answer me. I want to know, and I want to know right now.” The calm in my voice certainly was a betrayal to the rage in my heart.

  “I don’t know why you keep sweating me about her. She’s nobody. Keva is a friend of my sister, Frannie. She came by to see her and decided to wait for her since she wasn’t at home. I was just about to give her a ride home when you showed up because she got tired of waiting. Where do you want to eat?”

  I sat there processing Shaun’s answer. I simply couldn’t wrap my arms around it. If Keva was just a friend of Francine’s, why did both he and his mother look like they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar when I arrived at the house? I was about to ask him that very question when he started bugging me again about where I wanted to eat.

  “Lindsay, I asked you where you want to eat.”

  “I don’t want to eat, Shaun. I am not hungry. I had lunch with my granny right before I came to see you.”

  “Then why did you say you want to get something to eat?”

  “I never said I wanted to eat. Eating was your suggestion. I want to talk about this Keva tramp. If she is not some trick you are cheating on me with, then why did you look like I caught you with your pants around your ankles when you saw me at the door?” Now I was yelling.

  “You need to calm down and quit yelling at me. I’m the one who should have an attitude here. I could have still been spending time with my son if you weren’t hungry.”

  No he didn’t! No this idiot did not just tell me he should be the one with an attitude. I was getting angrier by the second. Shaun was playing on both my intelligence and my last nerve.

  Yelling at the top of my lungs now, I really went off. “I never said I was freaking hungry. I just want you to tell me and tell me right freaking now why it is that you and your stupid mama both looked like you had something to hide when I showed up at the house. Now I know the witch doesn’t like me, but she had the dirty nerve to look nervous when she saw me on her porch.”

  Before Shaun responded, he pulled my car into a Wendy’s restaurant parking lot. “Like I said before, Lindsay, you need to calm down before you say something else you might regret. I don’t appreciate you disrespecting my mother like that.”

  “Screw your mother!”

  “That’s it! If you say one more word I don’t like, I’m gonna slap the taste out of your mouth.”

  Wait! Wait one minute! Now it was one thing when I felt like punching him on his mother’s porch, but it was an entirely different story for him to tell me he was going to hit me. I will be John Brown if I sit still and let anyone get away with threatening me.

  “Oh! So you gon’ hit me if I say something else, huh? Well, I guess you best get ready to fig
ht. I’m about to say a whole lot of stuff that I’m sure you won’t be too happy about, starting with get out of my car.”

  Shaun and I had only had two major disagreements before now. And never once had I wanted to hit him nor has he ever threatened to hit me. But fight number three was on and in a big way now. I was so angry I was sure I could take him in hand-to-hand combat and win.

  I jumped out of the car from the passenger side, ran around to the driver’s side and yanked open the door. I started pulling on his arm in an attempt to get him out of my car. The sight of him was making me ill again.

  “Get out, Shaun. I want you out of my car and away from me. I know you are lying about your little girlfriend. I don’t want to look at your lying face for another minute. I gave up everything for you. I defied my mother. I didn’t go away to college. I have even betrayed my God for you. And then you go and cheat on me?”

  My fury was increasing with each word I spoke. I pulled his arm so hard I was sure it was going to come off any second.

  Shaun rested his head on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths as if he were trying to calm himself. Then he started talking very calmly. “Lindsay, let go of my arm. I apologize for threatening to hit you. I should have never said that because you know I would never do that. Let me go so I can get out of the car.”

  He was a little too sedate, so I really didn’t trust him, but I let him go. I stepped back from the car so he could get out. I was standing in the fight-ready position just in case he tried to pull a sneak attack on me. Shaun got out and threw his hands up in complete surrender. He just shook his head at me.

  When I was confident he was not going to hit me, I jumped in my car, slammed and locked the door. I then began my tirade again as I rolled down my window. I yelled at him while I readjusted my seat and mirrors. “You know what? I don’t care who Keva is, you liar. I don’t care what you were doing with her. All I do care about is my bills and my tuition. And you better continue to pay them. I better not have to ask you for anything twice. I also suggest you keep sleeping with the tramp because I don’t want your nasty hands anywhere near me ever again.”